daphne

( The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards. )

Summer is ending and I have no idea how it happened. So much has gone on over these past few months and yet, at the same time, it's like nothing has happened at all. Sam came and then left, leaving me with unexplained feelings of sorrow, regret and so many other things I'd rather not even think about. I should've known he had no intention of staying around and I should've known he and I were never going to be together again. But at least we had some great weather this summer, right? Granted, hurricane season tends to muck the end of the summer up a bit, but either way, we had some great beach days. And now it's back to work. Well, for the teachers anyway. I'll be subbing again this fall, though I luckily have a couple of interviews lined up right before the school year begins. I'm not so hopeful seeing as there are literally thousands of applicants and all, but it can't hurt to try.

I know this is random, but I don't understand the whole...buzz about Lady Gaga. Is it just me?

Is anyone watching the meteor shower this evening? I was thinking of possibly heading down the the beach after sunset to check it out. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to see, especially since there's a chance of showers tonight, but I figure it couldn't hurt to try. I haven't been out to the beach much this summer.

( Private )

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.

I need a change in my life. Does anyone know where I can sign up for a yoga class or maybe some sort of other activity?

Is it just me or is anyone else a little over the whole Jon and Kate thing? I have to be honest, I really used to love the show. TLC is one of my favorite channels and when the show started, I adored it. Jon and Kate worked well together, even though she was a little overly anal and he was a little too lazy for his own good. But they were a good couple, in my opinion. And the children were just the cutest things ever. Each of them has their own personality and I think it's great that America can watch them grow. However, now it's just turning into a big tabloid mess and it's horribly depressing. These poor children may not remember everything that's going on, but their whole lives, they're going to be known as the Gosselin kids and they're going to be reminded of their parents and what happened for years to come. Kate is being the big person right while Jon is running off with multiple younger women. I think he needs to think about his children and stop being so selfish.

Anyway, I can't believe I just went on a rant about something I just said I was over the media attention, but I just wanted to get that out there.

I'm really enjoying my summer so far. I picked up a part-time job at Barnes and Noble and it's going pretty well. I started about a week and a half ago and while I'm not making much money, it's still something. Plus, it gives me some time to familiarize myself with books that I haven't read in ages as well as find some new books.

I hope everyone is having a great summer.

I don't really want to say anything about the body that was found because, quite frankly, it's a little bit scary. And...I know that talking about it will just freak me out a little too much.

Instead, I think I'll just mention how my cousin just found out she's having a baby. I always love hearing stories about that. She's a year younger than me so it's making me feel a little...pathetic, if I have to be honest and she and her husband weren't really expecting it, but they're thrilled nonetheless. Since I don't have any siblings, I'm sure this baby will be the closest thing I ever really have to a niece or nephew. I can't wait until there's a little baby around to spoil.

What is everyone doing for the 4th? I'm not really sure what to do yet.

Summer vacation. For teachers, it's meant to be a time of relaxation and a time to get away from the kids and work for wonderful weeks. But for us substitute teachers, that's hardly the case. Since I don't have a permanent position, not only do I not get benefits, but I also don't get paid over the summer...So if there's any that knows anywhere that's hiring over the summer, I'd love to hear about it. I was thinking possibly a book store since I know that stuff rather well, but possibly a camp? I don't know. I guess I'll just have to see what happens and see what life brings. It's been throwing me some curveballs lately so something is bound to happen.

( Private )

With memory set smarting like a reopened wound, a man's past is not simply a dead history, an outworn preparation of the present: it is not a repented error shaken loose from the life: it is a still quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavors and the tinglings of a merited shame.

Note to self: Lock apartment and bedroom door!

One of my students got stung by a bee in class today. In class. And it turns out he's allergic to bees. Well, that was fun...

Anyway, I'm thinking of taking a little trip this summer since school ends at the end of June and I have the whole summer off. I should probably pick up a little summer job though. So, anyone have any suggestions? Either for a trip location or a new job?

Apparently, this guy lives in Quincy as does this woman. Wow... I don't even know what to say about both of those incidents.

Passover begins tomorrow night. Yes, I've stocked up on my matzo. My mom already told me she has boxes to send home with me as if there are no places to shop here in Revere. I think that the Passover traditions were so much more meaningful when I was a child. Maybe that's wrong for me to say, but as I'm not an overly religious person now, it's almost just...an obligation. I remember as a kid spending weeks before Passover doing a massive cleaning of the house, attempting to get rid of all chametz and then searching for the afikoman, but that's gone out the window. I'm actually okay with that. We've never been strict with the holiday and I do eat bread over Passover, but I think I'll try to be good this year. Even if my dad won't be there... We are having a seder though, as we do every year, and Seth, you're invited again, if you'd like to come.

No matter what holiday you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate at all, I hope everyone has a wonderful time over the next few days.

So...I have a black eye.

It's hard to believe that spring starts next Friday already. I certainly hope it warms up before then, though really, it's not usually very warm at the start of spring. I just can't wait for the warm weather to come. Snow is beautiful and I do love watching it fall from the window and even playing in it, but I'm really ready to be able to wear less layers and to no longer have to dig my car out of the snow and the ice. Not to mention, I'm ready to be able to walk down the street and not have to worry about breaking my neck. Actually, I'm more ready for the summer than the spring. As much as I love teaching, it's been a rough semester, especially with midterms and everything. This summer, I'd love to be able to go away for a little while. Ideally, I'd love to take a trip to Europe for a little while, but with the state of the economy and the fact that I'm making hardly any money may make that a little bit hard. I should be saving, not spending. But maybe a little road trip would be nice. I'll have to see. All I know is that I think I'll need a bit of a change. I'm already a bit stir crazy. I wish I had gone somewhere during spring break.

( Private )

I'm still in a bit of a shock over the fires in Southern Australia, especially since they're now saying that they were possibly arson. I can't imagine those poor families that have lost their loved ones. Yes, the fact that people lost their homes is obviously devastating as well, but possessions can be replaced, human lives can't. They're saying now that there's a possibility that the death toll can be up to 300. I guess it just makes me think about what I have in life and how it should be appreciated. I take things for granted too often. I never thought I'd be one to do that, but it turns out I'm just as bad as everyone else.

Valentine's Day is coming up, as everyone knows, and everyone at school is going crazy for it. I'm just afraid that I'm going to have to separate even more students with their tongues down each others' throats than usual. I don't know when middle school turned into a brothel. I always used to love the day as a kid. Nothing made me happier than creating personalized Valentines for everyone that I knew. I spent so much time on those cards. As a Girl Scout, we used to have father/daughter dances each Valentine's Day and those were always the best. My mom always got me a brand new dress, put a cute ribbon in my hair and, when I got a little older, would even let me wear a little bit of lip gloss. I know Valentine's Day can be superficial and so Hallmark, but it always made me smile.

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday.

While on my lunch break today, I went out to my car since I forgot my sandwich in there this morning and found two seventh graders practically using my car as a bed, tongues down each others' throats.

( Private )

First day of school today at Revere Middle School. Well, it's definitely interesting, I'll say that. I was stopped in the hall not once, not twice, but three times for a hall pass by other teachers. I was asked by one of the students if I was a student teacher. And I sat alone at lunch. But some of the teachers seem great and so do some of the students. There's already this boy who I can tell is going to give me a hard time, but he's so brilliant I just want to shake him. He will be one of my many projects for the year.

I finally finished unpacking, but this place still doesn't seem like home. I think it's the fact that it's so much bigger than my other place back in Quincy. That place was cozy. I'll get used to it though. And I'll think of something to do with the other room. If I could sew, I'd make it my sewing room.

Every year for the past, well, I don't know how many years, I've told myself that I'm going to make New Years resolutions and actually follow through with them. When I was younger, I seemed to have a little more willpower. When I was 8, my resolution was to go a whole year without eating meat. And I actually did it. When I was 13, I said that I was going to volunteer more. And I did it. Okay, so that was partially due to the fact that I was a Girl Scout and we had to do that stuff, but it also felt nice to do. Anyway, then I got into high school and then college and then graduated college and those resolutions didn't stick. I said I would go a whole year without drinking any alcoholic beverage, but then Seth quickly squashed that idea just about a week later. I said I'd try the not eating meat thing again, but the lamb on Passover was too tempting. Now that I'm 28, I really can't think of the last time when I made a resolution that stuck. They all seem to be these big things, but maybe I'll try something small this year. I think I want to try to do at least one nice thing for someone a day. It can be as little as opening a door for someone or as big as donating blood. I'd tell everyone to try and pay it forward, but we know that that'd be too cliche and also, most people probably won't. But hey, I know everyone likes it when people do nice things for them.

Anyway, I'm Daphne and I just moved here to Revere from Quincy. Not too far of a move, but I'm going to start teaching Language Arts at the middle school starting Monday. Revere was my second home growing up, so it's nice to be actually living here. I just wish there had been some open one bedroom apartments. I think this is where I pimp for a roommate, but that probably isn't safe on these things. The last thing I need is a murderer offering to live with me.